Disclaimer: This is in no way true it all comes from my
Word Count: 4,571
Summary: When in Jared get's sick at a convention, Jensen is fighting his inner feelings and Danneel is figuring out a few things for herself.
A/N: I wrote this a LONG ass time ago never even dreaming I would ever finish it or post it none the less but with moviegeek helping me I slowly gained more confidence. So thank you to her :) All other mistakes are my own.
Jared followed Jensen backstage as the roaring of the fan girls echoed in the background. His head was pounding with intense vigor and all he wanted to do was go home so he could sleep. Cold sweat was trickling down his neck, making him shiver. He searched with bleary eyes for Jensen’s form. He could immediately see him conversing with Danneel and he didn’t want to intervene.
It was stupid that when he was sick he sought comfort from Jensen. He was a grown man and should have been able to suck it up and deal with it. He bet even Danneel could deal with being sick by herself, but why would she? She had Jensen to cuddle up with when she was feeling ill.
Ok that was kinda mean; just cause Jared was madly in love with Jensen doesn’t mean he could be mean to Danneel.
Ever since they first met, Jared has had this weird sort of adoration for Jensen. It went from adoration to admiration to love. Jared wasn’t sure when it turned into love, however he kinda has an inkling as to what did it.
It was right after he and Sandy broke up. Jared was hurting real bad and felt numb. It was raining that night and he blindly drove all the way to Jensen’s house hoping too seek comfort.
Once Jensen opened the door and saw the big wet puppy that was looking up at him with so much hope, he immediately drew Jared into a hug and told him everything was going to be alright.
Jared knew that that moment was certainly a special one to hold dear. Even though, like himself, Jensen was bi, he never wanted to intrude and make a move because he didn’t want to ruin their friendship.
Not long after that, him and Danneel started dating and Jared knew that Jensen wasn’t interested in him. Ok, being sick made Jared a little sappy.
Sighing he made his way into the tiny room that housed a couch and a couple of forgotten equipment. At least he could lie down until it was time to go.
Opening the door he made his way to the small couch. He groaned at the thought of scrunching up into the small space but he needed the relief. Lying down with a sigh, he closed his eyes as the pounding in his head notched up higher.
Jensen tried to concentrate on what Danneel was saying, he really did. But everything that flew out of her mouth was a distant blur. She unfortunately wanted to come with them to the convention but Jensen really couldn’t fathom why. She has stated on numerous accounts how much she hated these events and the people who go to them.
“Then after lunch I was envisioning we could go to the beach and have a nice picnic until sunset. Jensen….”
Jensen snapped out of his thoughts as he focused on Danneel. “Huh?”
Danneel huffed in irritation. “Have you even been listening to me?”
Instead of answering or acknowledging her question, Jensen finally noticed that Jared was nowhere to be found. He didn’t hear his insatiable laughter or excited chatter anywhere. Where was Jared? “Do you know where Jared is?”
Danneel seemed to get even madder. Her very dramatic huff was accompanied with an impatient tap of her foot. “Why would I know? Besides he’s a big boy Jensen; you don’t have to look after him.”
Jensen frowned. He really didn’t like Danneel’s attitude lately. She’d been extremely rude and blunt with Jared lately, which Jensen just wouldn’t stand for. Or would he? He’s been kowtowing to her needs and wants for years. Dealing with her dislike of his friends and what he does. Jensen sighed as he excused himself from the conversation. “Just let me go find Jared and we’ll go. Ok?”
Danneel didn’t seem happy but gave a brisk nod. “Ok…just make it quick.”
Jensen ignored her as he searched the tiny backstage area, all the while asking around and poking his head through doors looking for his best friend.
Finally a food assistant was able to point him in the right direction.
Walking up to the utility closet (Jensen laughed…a utility closet?), he opened the door with a small creek and peered into the tiny room.
There upon the small couch was Jared’s large frame curled up into a tiny ball.
Jensen smiled as he approached him. Kneeling down next to the couch, he palmed Jared’s cheek only to cringe back at the heat lurking there. “Jay you’re burning up,” he noted softly as Jared groaned at the coldness of the touch.
Blinking open bleary eyes Jared peered at Jensen’s crouched form. “Jn’sn?” he slurred.
“Yeah it’s me.” Jensen breathed as he carded his hand gently through Jared’s long hair. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”
Jared shrugged or at least tried to. “Didn’t wanna worry you,” Jared panted.
Jensen chuckled as the worry lines increased on his face. “Well a little too late for that.”
Jared laughed softly but moaned as the pain ratcheted up in his head.
“What’s wrong?” Jensen questioned urgently as he stopped his soothing motion fearing that was causing the discomfort.
“Migraine,” Jared stated simply.
“Don’t worry. We’ll get you home, and I’ll take care of you. Just relax buddy…ok?”
Jared nodded, not really having enough strength to do much else. He trusted Jensen to take care of him and make it all alright.
Jensen smiled as he gently patted Jared’s shoulder, contemplating when they were actually going. He knew if he told Cliff their predicament, Cliff would pull through and get them home in about 3 seconds flat.
Then Jensen bit his lip with worry. Danneel already coerced him into going to the beach and whatever the hell else she said. He couldn’t go with her, not now at least, not with Jared so sick. He knew no matter how much Jared’s dog’s loved him they couldn’t physically take care of him. Not the way Jensen would at least.
Jensen had to swallow down some panic. It wasn’t the first time he looked at Jared with more feelings than a best friend should. It wasn’t the first time he thought of what Jared’s face would look when his dick was in Jared’s perfectly round ass and Jared would come with a cry…Ok Jensen really needs to stop thinking.
Bringing his hand up to wipe across his face, he contemplated what he should do. No matter how much he told Danneel no or voiced his displeasure, she always had an excuse or a viable comeback that would guarantee his compliance.
When did life get so complicated?
No it wasn’t a mid life crisis where Jensen questioned his sexual preference. Jensen has always been bi. Danneel knows that, but for most of his life Jensen just never found any males that did anything for him.
Looking down, he watched as Jared’s brow furrowed in his sleep as if he was thinking. He needed to find out what to do because Jared was sick and needed to rest.
His thought process was interrupted when he heard brisk steps coming this way. There was no doubt who it was; those heels could only belong to Danneel.
“Jensen I thought you said it only be a min-” Daneel’s voice trailed off as she saw the sight before her. It looked very comical that a man of Jared’s statue could so easily be cradled like he was a little kid.
Her shock soon turned into a grimace as she showed her displeasure. It was no secret Jensen was bi, so it left her with a bitter taste in her mouth to think of Jensen liking someone else and that someone else could very well be Jared.
“Jensen what are you doing?”
Jensen was left gaping like a fish for an answer. “Uh…Jared’s sick we might have to cancel our plans for today.”
Danneel’s face turned bright red and Jensen would have laughed if he didn’t know what was coming next.
“What?!” Danneel shrieked making anyone who was walking by the door stop and stare at the hysterical woman.
“Dani-” Jensen started but was soon cut off.
“Jensen I’ve had it! You treat Jared like he’s a little boy who needs protecting! I mean for God sakes, he’s bigger than you!”
Jensen winced. Ok that was sorta a low blow.
“And I-” Danneel broke off a weird expression coming over her face.
Jensen couldn’t quite identify it at first, but their arguing was being cut off by Jared moaning.
Jensen looked down to see Jared getting restless, probably from all the yelling. The poor guy didn’t need that with a migraine.
“Shhhh,” Jensen cooed softly stroking Jared’s cheek hoping to calm him. Like magic Jared was instantly soothed and went back into a restful sleep.
Danneel was left staring agape at them. Soon all the anger she felt was turned into sadness. They looked just so right together, more so than her and Jensen ever did. Plus who was she kidding? Jared may be bigger than most, but Jared always had a way to appear vulnerable and Danneel knew that Jensen’s inner heart couldn’t help but fall over to help him.
“Listen Jensen,” Danneel sighed out. “We’re in L.A and not far from my apartment. Why don’t I drive you and Jared over there to get him some help. He does look really ill.”
Jensen looked up so fast he swore he got whiplash. This certainly was unexpected. “Are you sure Dani?” Jensen asked wanting to make sure Danneel was ok with the idea, even though she had suggested it.
“Of course I’m sure. I’ll tell Cliff we’re heading there so he doesn’t freak out. I hope you can handle carrying Jared to the car or do you want me to tell Cliff to help?”
“Uh….I think I can manage, and thank you Danneel,” Jensen said with obvious gratitude. It should have been weird that they were having this conversation like they weren’t dating but Jensen’s brain was so wrapped up in help Jared he couldn’t see anything wrong.
Danneel gave a small smile and walked away, her heels clicking loudly as she did so.
Jensen blew out a sigh of relief and focused his energy on Jared.
Jared’s cheeks were a bright pink, showing that his fever has amped up a notch since they weren’t that way earlier. Since Jared was a heavy sweater his face was drenched in sweat, running in rivulets to coat his shirt collar and make his hair sweaty.
Jensen bent down to whisper in Jared’s ear. not wanting to talk loudly and cause him pain. “Ok buddy Dani’s going to take us to her place and we’ll get you fixed up here soon.”
Jared didn’t answer him but he turned into Jensen’s soft touch on his cheek, which let Jensen know he heard.
Sighing Jensen tried to figure out his next problem…how the hell was he supposed to carry Jared out of here?
“Should have just took Dani’s advice and made Cliff do it,” Jensen muttered as put one hand behind Jared’s knees and another behind his strong shoulders.
Breathing in deeply he held his breath as he struggled to pick up Jared’s gargantuan form. His knees shook and his back felt like it wanted to snap but Jared wasn’t as heavy as he usually was, and yes Jensen knows because Jared likes to surprise Jensen and shorten his life span by jumping on his back.
Jensen figured it had to be his ordeal with Sandy. A couple of months ago Jared and Sandy broke it off, and Jared took it really hard. It took all of he had just to force Jared to eat and he knew the measly soups and quick snacks Jared ate wasn’t enough to supply his body mass. This left Jared’s once sculpted body skinny. He had to compensate by tugging his belt tighter. He even started wearing baggy clothes, hoping no one would see but Jared should have known better. Jensen saw everything.
Shaking his head of the thoughts he hefted Jared higher until his limp head rested in the crook of his neck. Breathing slowly, he thanked God that Danneel parked close to the building.
Taking a few steps, he looked around to see that most of the people had cleared out or at least weren’t paying attention because he had to be making a scene.
It took about 10 minutes for Jensen to lug Jared outside to where Danneel was parked. Her SUV certainly came in handy for Jared’s huge size since he wasn’t that lucid to put on a seatbelt.
Jensen laid him in the backseat so he could lie down. Jared didn’t seem to really be that coherent to know where he was so he snuffled the vinyl seats and went back to sleep.
Jensen blew out a breath and hobbled over to the passenger side.
After pulling himself in, he glanced at Danneel and saw that same weird expression on her face and he really hated it being there. He wanted to fix it; say something that might make her feel better but he just didn’t know what.
“Took you long enough,” Danneel muttered making Jensen smile.
The trip over to her apartment was silent. Well Jared was snoring but that wasn’t what Jensen meant.
He didn’t know what he was expecting but this certainly wasn’t it. Danneel was so gung ho to spend the day together and Jensen knew his girl she didn’t let things go without a fight. So why had she let this go so easy? Especially since the last few weeks Jared’s been on her hit list?
He didn’t have long to ponder it because they were soon pulling up into the parking garage for Danneel’s apartment. Her apartment was really more like a condo but she hated calling it that since she didn’t want to be labeled the rich bitch with a condo. So Jensen just called it an apartment.
It’s been a while since he had been to it because it looked like it had been through some cosmetic changes since then.
Thankfully he was able to rouse Jared enough to stumble into the elevator so that Jensen didn’t have to carry him again.
Jared was swaying on his feet when the elevator beeped. He didn’t exactly know where he was but he knew Jensen was near by just by the scent of his cologne and if that wasn’t down right creepy he didn’t know what was.
He could also tell that Danneel was there as well because her red hair shone brightly in the dim lighting making Jared pout. Why can’t my hair be that shiny?
He should have been worried he was having these weird thoughts but his brain was sorta jumbled. His head hurt yeah, but everything felt disconnected. He wondered if it was the fever or if he took something for it. He would have remembered taking something, right?
Something dinged making Jared almost jump out of his skin.
He watched Danneel walk out of the elevator first and he swayed a little until he felt Jensen’s arm on his shoulder, warm and comforting.
“We’re here now,” Jensen whispered with a grin on his face as he watched Jared’s head sorta bob. Jared didn’t remember but Jensen gave him some of the extra strength Excedrin for his migraine since Jared got them often.
Jared was always so loopy on any medication it was a wonder that he didn’t try to take of his clothes and start singing Madonna like the last time he got painkillers for his broken arm.
Not that you would mind. Jensen’s evil mind thought making him shake his head and practically drag Jared into the sleek apartment.
Danneel wasn’t in view, leading Jensen to believe she might have gone to take a shower or change.
It didn’t matter though because Jensen knew this place like the back of his hand.
Dragging Jared’s swaying form to the guest bedroom, he made quick work of stripping him of his clothes so that he was in only his boxers and a t-shirt.
Jared giggled making him bring his head up.
“What’s so funny?” Jensen asked as he tucked in the duvet around Jared’s form.
“I knew you couldn’t wait to get me in bed.” Jared giggled, again not realizing that Jensen took his words to heart.
“Yeah,” Jensen said completely throwing away the idea. Even though he knew Jared was loopy on medication, he still couldn’t help but feel Jared knew and he was scared of the reaction.
“Jen?” Jared whispered his eyes only at half-mast.
“Have you ever felt like you’ve been waiting for something to happen your whole life?” Jared asked softly.
Jensen was sort of stunned. He knew Jared always got a little loopy-ok a lot loopy-when he was on meds but he never knew Jared to turn into Shakespeare.
Swallowing Jensen considered his answer. “Sometimes…I guess. Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know…it’s like when I’m with you I’m complete and when I’m not it feels like there is a gaping hole in my heart.”
Jensen sat there quietly watching the different emotions pass across Jared’s face. “Jared…” Jensen started but he was surprised when Jared wasn’t lying down anymore; he was sitting up on his elbows inches from Jensen’s face.
Jensen could feel Jared’s warm breath ghost across his lips making his spine tingle in anticipation and unfortunately making his dick very excited.
No, no no! You’re happy! You have a great girlfriend…a great life. Don’t ruin everything just for your dick. Jensen’s sensible side tried to tell him.
What are you kidding your relationship with Danneel has probably been dead for two years now. Besides this isn’t about your dick; it’s about your heart. Jensen’s not so rational side tried to say.
Jensen wanted to kiss him so badly. It was like a need that if he didn’t fulfill he might die.
Then Jared made up his mind for him. For lack of a better term, it was amazing.
Though Jared’s lips were dry and cracked it was still mind blowing. He felt Jared’s hand slide through his hair and grip tightly, making him wince.
He sought out Jared’s tongue and his own explored Jared’s mouth, making sure he learned every inch of it. And all too soon it was done and Jared fell back to the bed almost dead. The kiss seemed to have taken out whatever energy Jared still had.
Though it was dark in the room it couldn’t mask the small smile on Jared’s face.
“I love you…” Jared whispered before he started drifting off to sleep.
Jensen sat there stunned with his fingers still touching his lips in wonder. Jared loved him?
Was this a fairy tale or a nightmare?
What was he supposed to do? He had Danneel, a nice job, a great house…albeit shared with Jared. He had a wonderful life and he didn’t need to fuck it up by dating his co-star.
Even if it pained him to the point of feeling dead inside, he gave one last look to Jared and got up to go in the kitchen. He needed coffee or beer…beer might be good.
He was surprised to see Danneel sitting at the table quietly sipping what appeared to be tea and damn it if she didn’t have that same weird expression on her face.
He silently pored himself some no doubt stale coffee and heated it up in the microwave. The beep of it was like a bomb since the house was so quiet. Taking out the coffee he poured in some cream and sugar and made his way over to the table as well.
Sitting down, he sipped the coffee with a grimace while eyeing Danneel as he did. He was surprised to see her looking back at him.
“Jensen we need to talk,” Danneel said setting down her tea and staring at Jensen with a wistful look.
Jensen grimaced. Aw fuck here was the rebuttal; he knew his girl wouldn’t go down without a fight.
They both said it at the same time, making Jensen pause. I quit? “What?” he finally asked puzzled.
“Jensen I’m breaking up with you.” Danneel said calmly watching Jensen pale in his seat.
“What? What do you mean breaking up? Why?” Jensen asked, pleaded desperately.
“I’ve realized some things that maybe should have been obvious from the start.”
“Things? Dani is this about today with Jared? Jared is just a friend you know that.” Jensen tried reasoning no matter how much it pained him. Jared is more than a friend and you know it
“No Jensen he isn’t; this should have been obvious from the start. You’re in love with Jared. I don’t know when I realized this or when this happened, but it should have been clear. Jared loves you too and you were meant for each other. It would be cruel to break that up.”
“Dani…” Jensen trailed off too shocked to speak let alone think.
“Don’t think I’m mad,” Danneel said with a slight smile. “Sure I’m sad, borderline depressed but I’m also happy.”
“Happy? How the hell could you ever be happy in this situation, Dani!? Look what I did to you!” Jensen yelled getting up from the chair to pace back and forth, a habit he does when he’s mad.
“I’m happy that at least I know you’ll be loved like you should. Jared is a great guy and I guess I’ve been so hard on him because I knew the truth for a while, but I just couldn’t muster up the courage to admit it. I love you Jensen I probably always will, but us, we just weren’t meant to be,” Danneel stated sadly watching Jensen’s mad face turn to something of understanding.
“I never meant to hurt you,” Jensen stated sadly. Stopping his pacing, practically collapsed into the chair, putting his head in his hands.
“I know Jensen; I would never dream of it,” Danneel stated getting up to lay her hands on his shoulders.
“Was I that obvious?” Jensen said with a chuckle.
Danneel laughed. “Afraid so; no wonder the fangirls dream of you and Jared having sex.”
Jensen smiled and got up to give her a hug. He mustered up all his feelings in that one hug, sadness, guilt, thankfulness. And when she squeezed him back, he knew his message was received.
Pulling back Jensen gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thank you Dani, for everything.”
“Anytime.” She smiled and stepped away going to grab her purse.
Jensen looked on confused. “Where are you going?”
“To get some ice-cream; it’s the best remedy for a break up plus I’m sure snot boy we’ll need it when he wakes up.”
Jensen smiled at her and watched her leave before silently shutting the door.
Feeling weird, he decided he should go check on Jared. He just wasn’t prepared when Jared jumped out of the corner and tackled him into a hug.
Jared got restless lying in the bedroom; all he could think about was that kiss. It had been seared into his mind making him needy and wanting more.
The best part of all was that Jensen kissed him back. Ok, he should be thinking that Jensen was in a relationship but all he could think about was his sinful lips and his tongue as it delved deeper into his mouth.
Hearing his stomach grumble he got out of bed and tried to find the kitchen. He didn’t know this place that great, only being here once. His lethargic body sorta stumble into walls a couple of times before he finally found the hallway.
Hearing voices that were unmistakably Jensen and Danneel’s he kept back.
Jensen looked on confused. “Where are you going?”
Jared frowned wondering what was going on.
“To get some ice-cream; it’s the best remedy for a break up plus I’m sure snot boy we’ll need it when he wakes up.”
He felt his veins freeze up. Break up? Did Jensen and Danneel break up? Worst of all, was it because of him? He didn’t have long to contemplate it because he heard the door close and Jensen making his way back to the bedroom.
Jared panicked, not wanting Jensen to find out he was eavesdropping. He tried to hurriedly dash for the bedroom, but he still was loopy and out of it. His foot got in the rug and he fell straight into Jensen knocking him over.
Thankfully Danneel had carpets so Jensen’s head didn’t slam into the hard wood floor it covered.
Jared was dazed for a moment until he heard Jensen groan and he scrambled to get up.
“Oh shit! Sorry Jen I tripped on the rug. Fuck!” Jared cursed taking Jensen’s hand and pulling him up.
Jared inspected his head closely looking for any bumps or blood.
Jensen laughed pulling away. “Jay it’s alright; you just dazed me is all.”
Blowing out a breath of relief, Jared’s shoulders sagged. What should he say? Sorry for your breakup? No, because then Jensen would know he was eavesdropping, which was why they were in this whole mess.
“Jared I love you.”
Ok that wasn’t what he was expecting. “Uh…what?”
“I,” Jensen stuttered and slide his hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his.
“Danneel broke up with me and don’t say anything yet til I explain,” Jensen warned, shutting Jared up quickly.
“She said she knew that I was in love with you maybe even when I didn’t know myself.”
Jared’s heart beat up faster making him somewhat hopeful and sad at the same time.
“And-she was right…I am in love with you and that kiss? Well it kinda woke me up some.”
Jared was so busy catching flies with his open mouth he didn’t even realize that Jensen spoke.
“Say something man; don’t leave me hanging.” Jensen gave a nervous chuckle.
“I-I love you too. I’m just shocked.” Jared stuttered looking very flustered.
“Tell me about,” Jensen lamented. Jensen was so caught up with these sudden events he forgot Jared was supposed to be sick.
“Fuck Jared are you ok?” Jensen asks not waiting for a reply he quickly felt Jared’s forehead. It didn’t feel as hot as before, just slightly warm. “Still have a migraine?”
Jared chuckled taking Jensen’s hand from his forehead and holding it in his. “I’m fine actually, still a little sick feeling but my headache’s gone.”
After that they grew silent. Jensen’s hand still encased in Jared’s larger one.
It seems like hours just standing there staring at each other like they would die if they didn’t.
They didn’t even notice when the door opened and shut so lost in each other’s gaze.
“Oh for God sakes, just kiss each other already!”
Jared jumped looking over at Danneel who had a knowing smirk on her face.
“That sounds like an awesome idea,” Jensen said smiling and pulling Jared’s head towards his before giving him a long drawn out kiss.
Jared settled his hands on Jensen’s hips feeling lighter than air.
To answer Jared’s previous question he doesn’t wonder about that moment anymore, cause it just happened.
And Jared he’s inclined to agree.